![]() You have to put the clothes in the washing machine and THEN the dryer.Never put dishwashing soap in the washing machine.If you’re not sure how to wash something, check the label.You should also separate clothes that produce lint (towels, sweaters) from clothes that collect lint (corduroy, black hats). You have your whites, your coloreds, your delicates, your delicate coloreds, your tiny folded pieces of paper, your towels, your delicate towels, and your sneakers. This is not racist, so enough with the angry mail. So here are a few helpful laundry pointers for all you husbands who are looking to help out around the house, but are deathly afraid of your wives confronting you with an entire load of laundry covered in melted crayon: If I’d owned anything with stripes, I probably wouldn’t have worn it, out of fear. I had almost nothing in between, except for my grey sweatpants, which I never remembered to wash, and when I did, it was with my blacks, and as far as I know, the grey never ran into the blacks. I had white clothes, and I had black clothes, and I always washed them separately. But in all those years, I never shrank anything, that I noticed, and none of my coloreds ever ran. Other than that, though, I had no idea what I was doing. I just bought ten pairs of socks that looked exactly the same, so that no matter how many I lost, I would never have more than one stray sock. I did come up with a solution to that one problem, though, back when I was single. I’ve also never put a blanket in there and come back 45 minutes later to find that, “Huh. And why socks? I have never, not once, lost a shirt in the laundry. (Our collection goes back many years, because we never lose the single ones.) But we’re afraid to throw them out, because we have this fear that as soon as we do, we’re going to find all 60 matches. We currently have a sock box containing at least 60 socks, and not one of them matches another. But how on Earth am I supposed to remember which clothes have stains on them? And whose idea was it to put pockets in the pants of little boys?Īnd where are all the socks going? I can wash my socks in a netted bag, and they will still figure out how to open the zipper and escape. Also, I hear I’m supposed to pre-treat stains before putting the clothes in the washer. Where do the put the label on men’s dress pants? I think it keeps moving around, just to annoy me. Whenever I go to the store to buy clothes, I have to duck into the dressing room so I can twist around and check my label. My wife tells me I should be able to tell by the sizes, but I don’t remember what size anyone is. I don’t understand the clothing labels that say, “Wash with, like, colors.” “Like, colors?” Is that slang? I can’t figure out which of my kids’ clothing are whose when I fold them – I generally just put them into random piles based on which child I can vaguely remember wearing them at some point, and as a result most of the clothes go into the older children’s piles, even if they haven’t worn them in years. Why do I have to hang bath mats? I’ve never seen a bath mat shrink. I personally cannot for the life of me figure out which clothes are not allowed to go into the dryer. But men are absolutely terrified of it, because they don’t understand it. The way I understand it, women aren’t crazy about doing laundry either. In fact, he might even choose to wash only the really dirty parts of his clothes. It won’t even cross his mind to wash the towels, bibs, blankets, tablecloths, oven mitts, or bath mats. And then when he does do laundry, he will only wash his clothes. Most women will do laundry approximately every couple of days, whereas a man, left to his own devices, will not even consider doing laundry until after he has worn absolutely everything he owns, including Purim costumes. I don’t want to generalize, but if there’s one thing men don’t like to think about, it’s laundry. My wife complains when I don’t change my clothes, and when there’s too much laundry. She complains when I don’t change my clothes, and she complains when there’s too much laundry. So now I change my socks on a daily basis, despite the very valid argument, which I have presented to my wife repeatedly, that the more often I change my clothes, the more laundry there is to be done. And if it was something like socks, I would have to make a decision: Do I change both of them? Or only the one that smells more?īut then when I got married, my wife insisted that I change my socks every single day, in part because we lived in an apartment with only one window, which was located in the kitchen. ![]() When I was a bachelor, the way I decided which clothes to put on in the morning was by sniffing them.
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